


I love you not enough

by fingertaste



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: College, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 04:01:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10351839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingertaste/pseuds/fingertaste
Summary: Jongin didn't love Junmyeon enough.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Write this on phone with so many struggle. Lol.
> 
> Jongin is older, a senior at junmyeon's college. A playboy and junmyeon just a little innocent rabbit who fall in love with the wrong guy.

Junmyeon left his dorm an hour earlier with a pounding heart this morning. His small body was wrapped with his old black T-shirt, a long brown coat, black jeans, and a red scarf.

he wanted to make a surprise visit, obviously for his boyfriend named Kim Jongin, a civil engineer senior at his college.

His step was light and he was pretty sure, despite the chilly winter wind smack on his already pale face, the warm hug from jongin later, would absolutely make his day perfect.

He bounce lightly on his grey converse, his fave one. although Jongin nags a lot of his not-stylish-fashion.

Junmyeon himself really did not understand why Jongin always complaint over his casual fashion, though he then took everything as an advice, sometimes Junmyeon feels a bit uncomfortable with Jongin's remarks over his dressing.

"Yeah,i'm sorry, i'll try to dress better, hehe," Junmyeon always said the same thing over and over which only meet with Jongin furrowed brows as Junmyeon smiles cheekily.

Jongin was not overly popular at their college, but he was not unknown too. He was a perfect 3rd year senior in Junmyeon's opinion,which he believe everybody agreed.

Jongin has this flawless aura with sexy gaze which could melt the coldest heart. His tall, lean body become Junmyeon's favorite place to bury his face in that broad chest, a perfect place for Junmyeon's hobby; cuddle. With additional his sharp jaw and a good looking face, Junmyeon counted himself as a lucky one.

Sometimes Junmyeon wonders, how come Jongin is able recognize him, a nerd junior,plus have nothing compare to other freshman. In addition Junmyeon sometimes feel insecure. The reason was that permanent scar near his eyes. He feels his relationship is like Beauty and the Beast, of course he think he is the beast with ugly scar. and that makes he was afraid of losing Jongin. 

Junmyeon's insecurity is getting bigger each day as he heard some rumor about Jongin only play him because the latter was bored with dating the pretty face. Junmyeon never believe that.

He never talked about what he heard, keeping all the whisper, deep down on his already heart. "Sometimes love gives you pain with the unpredictable way," the thought.

One thing that Junmyeon believe that being positive will give him a good luck. He was very positive, the five month relationship was pure of love and the whisper to be gone soon.

To: Jonginie❤  
I've class today, i wanna meet u for 10min maybe? Do u have time? Miss you so much ❤

Junmyeon put his phone back into his pocket. Smiling and wishing Jongin to reply soon.

He realized something has changed. Jongin never once late on replying to his text, but he did now.

He never failed to attend their date and cuddling time on weekends, but he missed it for almost 3 consecutive weeks. The reason Jongin give; "I'm busy with papers and club" he said.

Being the understanding boyfriend, junmyeon swallow his disappointment and send over a smiley emoticon and a bold "Ok ,FIGHTING!" on his reply.

He never talks about his disappointment when he meet Jongin a few days later; A short lunch date, with Jongin always on his phone, practically ignoring Junmyeon the whole 2 hours date. And Junmyeon feels out of place for the first time in their relationship.

Junmyeon was putting his bag and books beside the toilet sinks, when he heard the familiar voice at one of the stalls. He was sure the toilet was empty when he enters a minute ago and Junmyeon did not expect he would heard the familiar voice inside.

"Yeah, I will talk to him today maybe, give me time,I wanna give him a logic reason to break up, or should I just say I'm bored? Our relationship is no longer fun, he was so uptight,you know"

Junmyeon stared blankly at the mirror in front of him. He clenched his phone in his hand, heart beating fast and a stinging pain run fast all over his chest, still wishing it wasnt jongin's voice.

"Is that Jongin inside? No, it cannot be him!" His inner voice could not make the feeling any better. Junmyeon was standing there as he eavesdrop the conversation, he simply freezes.

"I don't know Baek. He is a bit nerdy too now I'm thinking, yeah, you see his fashion choice. But he is cute, but nevertheless I feel bad for using him to make Sehun jealous. I think I keep him enough"

Junmyeon's was shaking. Baekhyun is Jongin's friend he met a few months ago.

"Did you see Sehun's face when I took him at Chen's party? I'm sure he was shocked," the voice inside the stall continue.

Junmyeon rewinds his memory back around July with teary eyes. On that summer night, Jongin took him to his friend's party, saying he was lonely and need a company.

Junmyeon himself has already had a crush over Jongin since his first day at college, when he saw the man dancing on the freshman welcoming party.

It was such a big opportunity, Suho was sure Jongin asking him out was absolutely a huge luck. It was a dreamlike, especially when Jongin kissed him sweetly at the party, confessing "I like you like you" which made junmyeon's face all red.

"Yeah, i need to go now"

Junmyeon suddenly panicking, tears brimming in his eyes, he can't breath. Too many things in his mind and his heart was already broken in pieces.

He was not ready for reality. Jongin standing with his phone still attached to his ear,looking straight to Junmyeon's eyes. A nightmare Junmyeon wish he never had. Jongin was surprised to see Junmyeon standing in front of him.

"Is he listening the whole conversation?" Jongin's thought.

Jongin was freezing in his place, he did expecting to meet Junmyeon today, to end everything. but he did not expect it will be this way.

He was a playboy after all. Two or three breakups is nothing for him, but he always make sure he cut every tie not in a clumsy way like this.

Junmyeon thinks he was a fool, a hundred percent stupid man. One breakup and he needs months to heal.

The familiar sting was spreading all over his chest. His inner voice talks louder than anything he can hear now "You should know, Junmyeon. you should know. How come such a handsome man would wanted you in the first place."

It was Junmyeon who dropped his gaze from Jongin's. He have no courages to confront Jongin, he was shaking and hold his tears.

His body then turns in an automatic mode as he slowly took his bag and book. With blury eyes he took the first step with heavy heart and dripping tears as he walked to the door.

"Junmyeon..." He heard Jongin's voice stopping him when he reaches the knob.

With all the power he has, Junmyeon opened his mouth.

"I..., I....,I un..derstand sunbae,, you don't have to say anything," the tears were rolling down his cheeks, leaving wet path on his deep scar when his tongue use the honorific name.

"It's not like that," Jongin feel he was trying to reach Junmyeon, but in reality, he was stuck in his place. Somehow he hates to witness Junmyeon shed his tears.

  
"No, it's alright. I'm..., I'm...." Junmyeon thinks he almost faint when the unsaid words disappear with the air. It is hard. Junmyeon leaves Jongin with pain spreads on his chest, scattered heart and tears.

2 days. Junmyeon spend his time crying, sobbing alone trying to mend his broken heart. His sleep with Jongin on all his dream. He wish Jongin would be back. He wished too hard, that everytime he wakes up, he remember every painful words Jongin said and the fact that Jongin was not love him.  
His phone beeping the notification light, battery 5% left with messages and calls ignored. 

35 misscalled from: Jonginie❤  
20 messages from: Jonginie❤

Junmyeon was sitting besides his bed with his oversized shirt belong to Jongin, and a cup of tea. A warm lemon tea which reminds him of his mom, wishing he will get comfort from the scents. It's the third day Junmyeon missed his classes. Leaving his bed only to brush his teeth, wash his face, eat one or two pieces of bread and crying with no tears left.

From: Jonginie❤  
"I owe you an explanation,"

Junmyeon smiles. It was a such a shame he only spend five months with Jongin. He regrets a lot of things. How he never have the chance to see Jongin's dance practice. How he feels like he give less attention on every details of Jongin's face. He regrets he could not hug him anymore. He miss Jongin a lot. But he was no longer his.

Will the explanation heals his pain? Will Jongin love him back? It is a one side love after all. A glimpse of guilt eating him inside. He realize Jongin was pretending the whole five months and he feel guilty for that. He did not want Jongin spend his time with a person he was not in love with.

To: Jonginie❤  
I hate you so much...,you know that..,I still love you tho,but you want me to stop,so I will. just give me time. Let's pretend everything is never happened. Let's back to the time you never know me. I miss you.., goodbye."

The tears is no longer there.


End file.
